Laura Rose Halliday
Are you looking for the best sex positions that will help you last longer, thrust deeper and give your woman an amazing orgasm?
We’ve got you covered. We’ve scoured the internet and dug through the manuals to bring you the best positions for the most common sexual goals.
These positions can provide just the change you need to spice things up in the bedroom.
We recognize that when it comes to sex, men and women have different needs and preferences.
Therefore, we’ve arranged the following 50 positions according to which partner they are best for – you or her.
Sometimes, the stars align and a position is great for both of you. We have plenty of those too!
This guide is fairly long and detailed as we didn’t want to miss anything out. If there’s a particular goal you’re most interested in, click on the link above to skip ahead and find the information you need!
The Best Oral Sex Positions For Her
If you want to know how to make your woman moan, scream and writhe in ecstasy, you’ve come to the right place!
In this section, we’ll reveal the five best oral sex positions for women.
These positions are guaranteed to get any women in the mood and ready for sex!
However, as with all positions, your technique is just as important as the position itself.
That’s why we’ve provided plenty of helpful tips and tricks that will help you make your woman climax.
1. The One Up
Also known as: The ‘Hamstring Stretch’ or the ‘Over Your Shoulder’.
Technique: She lies on the edge of the bed, you kneel on the floor and raise up one of her legs. Ask her to hold her leg up by wrapping her hands under her thigh. This position tilts her hips and puts her clitoris in the perfect position for cunnilingus. As you go down on her, she’ll be able to help add some movement and guide you to the perfect spot.
Variations: If your woman is very flexible and strong, she may be able to lift both legs. She can wriggle a little to help you get the right rhythm.
• The is the best oral sex position if your woman is especially sensitive down one side of her clitoris.• If you aren’t confident about being able to hit the clitoris properly, this is the position for you. She can help guide your mouth and tongue into the perfect position.
• Women who aren’t that strong may tire of holding their leg in this position after a while. They can always swap sides or rest their legs on your shoulders or back.
#2. The ‘Lazy Girl’
Also known as: The ‘Heir to the Throne’.
Technique: She sits on a chair with her legs wide open, you kneel on the floor and go down on her. Being able to see you between her legs will be a huge turn on and you’re almost guaranteed to make her orgasm. Start with a gentle foot rub and then begin working your way up her calves with kisses and nibbles. The top of her inner thigh contains her ilioinguinal nerve, one of the most powerful nerves in her entire body. Kiss and nibble this area until she’s writhing in ecstasy and then start stroking, licking and sucking her vagina and clitoris until she orgasms.
Variations: This position works great on any seat, including a sofa or bed. For even more fun, try a swivel chair. You can rotate her left and right while your mouth and tongue remain static.
• Most women find the view of a man going down on them a huge turn on.• From a guy’s perspective, this is one of the easiest positions to make a woman climax.• If you want to give oral on the go, this is the ultimate sex position.• You can easily stimulate her G-spot using your ring and index fingers. Licking and kissing her clit while entering her vagina and stroking in a ‘come hither’ motion will see her climax in no time.
• This position can be rough on your knees. It’s best to kneel on a cushion or some clothing before going at it for any length of time.
#3. The Trick or Treat
Also known as: The ‘Trick & Treat’.
Technique: She lies on her back and spreads her legs. Roll her back and place a pillow under her hips to tilt her pelvis upwards. Lie down with your head over her vagina and place her feet on your shoulders. Use the thumb and index finger of one of your hands to part her labia and then use your other thumb to coax the hood of skin over her clitoris upwards. This should help expose the clitoris and let you lick, suck and kiss her all the way to a blissful orgasm.
• If your woman likes strong, upward stroking when you go down on her, this is the best position to fulfill her wishes.• This position is extremely comfortable for you to perform and it’s easy for her to guide you towards the right position.• Instead of constantly lapping away, you can place your tongue firmly over her vaginal entrance and have her grind against you for maximum stimulation.
• As her feet will be resting on your shoulders, this position can feel painful after a while. Try resting her legs on your back.• It can be tough to support your weight on your elbows while placing your fingers inside her.
#4. The Face Sitter
Also known as: The ‘Hovering Butterfly’.
Technique: You lie down and she straddles you. You eat her out and she controls the pressure and direction by rising up or lowering herself down.
Variation: Instead of doing all the work yourself, try staying still and having her gyrate against your tongue and mouth. She can also reach back and stimulate your shaft with her hands.
• This position gives her complete control over the pressure you apply to her clitoris and vagina.• The ‘Face Sitter’ is extremely comfortable for you and takes the guesswork out of hitting the perfect spot. If you aren’t confident going down on your woman, this is a great position to try.• She can easily rub her nipples or the top of her vulva as both of her hands remain free.
• If you like being the dominant partner, you may feel constrained by with position.• Breathing can be tricky in this position, make sure you come up for air!
#5. The Switch-Up
Also known as: The ‘Role Reversal’
Technique: She stands up with her feet shoulder-width apart. You kneel between her legs so your mouth is at the same height as her clitoris. You pleasure her while she guides your head with her hands. She can put one foot on a nearby chair, bed or sofa to give you easier access to her clitoris.
• This position gives her a hugely erotic view of you pleasuring her.• She’s in complete control – a big turn on for most women – she’ll love it!• She can use her hands to direct and guide you into the perfect spot.
• If you’re roughly the same height, this position is amazing. If your woman is much shorter than you, things can become challenging. You may have to lean back against a sofa, bed or wall to compensate for the height difference.• Not every woman can easily relax and orgasm in a standing position but they’ll sure have fun trying!
The Best Oral Sex Positions For You
If you’re like most guys, you probably think that there’s no such thing as a bad oral sex position!
You’re not wrong. If your woman has great technique, she’ll make you orgasm no matter whether you’re sitting, standing or upside down.
However, if your oral sex routine has become boring and routine, a new position can help.
In this section, we’ll discuss the five greatest oral sex positions for you to receive. These positions are guaranteed to make you feel dominant, assertive and primed for sex.
#1. The Elevator
Also known as: The ‘Bees Knees’, the ‘Kneeling Blowjob’ or simply the ‘Standard blowjob’.
Technique: She kneels in front of you and takes your shaft into her mouth. By covering her teeth with her lips, she can alternate her speed and stroke your shaft with her hands while running her tongue around the head of your penis.
Variations: This is a great position for her to take one of your testicles into her mouth or stimulate your perineum (the sensitive area below your testicles) with her fingers.
• The view of your woman going down on you is a huge turn-on.• This position is great for out-of-bedroom fellatio, hence the name ‘Elevator’, hint-hint!• Your hands are free to direct and guide your woman into the perfect spot.
• She may find kneeling on hard surfaces painful after a while. She can kneel on some clothing or try squatting down instead.
#2. The ‘Boss’ Chair’
Also known as: The ‘Kneeling Blowjob’ or ‘Heir to the Throne’.
Technique: You sit on a sofa or a recliner and part your legs. She kneels between your legs and gives you a blowjob. As with the ‘Elevator’, she can give you manual stimulation besides stroking, sucking and licking your shaft. She can swirl her tongue around the head of your penis and fondle your testicles.
• She’ll find this position very comfortable and will enjoy having complete control over the depth and pace of the action.• She can introduce roleplay by dressing up as a naughty secretary and imagining you are her boss.• You’ll find it easy to achieve an orgasm while in this relaxing position.
• You don’t have much control in this position other than using your hands to guide your woman’s head and mouth.• It can be difficult to delay ejaculation in this position. This makes it perfect for a quickie but inconvenient if you plan on having a lengthy session of lovemaking.
#3. The Reverse Face Sitter
Also known as: The ‘ Reverse Hovering Butterfly’ or the ‘Face Fuck’ position.
Technique: She lies down and you straddle her. She can use her hands to stroke your shaft and control the pace and depth as she takes you into her mouth. You can direct the angle by rising up on your knees or lowering yourself down.
• This position gives you plenty of control over the pace and depth of your thrusts.• She can grab your hips or thighs to take control over the action.• This is a great position if you like being the dominant one and/or she likes being submissive.
• It can be tricky to find the right angle with this position. Try placing a cushion or pillow under her head to get the perfect height.• Some women won’t like the lack of control this position offers.
#4. The ‘Plumber’
Also known as: The ‘Doggy Face Fuck’ position.
Technique: Just like the ‘Reverse Face Sitter’ position, she lies down and you kneel down with your knees each side of her head. You rock forward so that your weight is on your hands and knees, resembling a plumber investigating a leaky sink. You can either thrust down into her mouth or she can give you a blowjob while you stay still.
• If you like to be in control, you’ll love thrusting back and forward into your woman’s mouth in this position. Just be careful to start slowly!• If you like her taking charge, you can just remain still and let her go to work.
• This position puts the woman in quite a vulnerable position. You’ll need to make sure that her arms are free.• She may need to control the depth of your thrusts or push you off if you’re going to come and she doesn’t want to swallow.
#5. The Table Surfer
Also known as: The ‘Lying blowjob’ or the ‘Lie Back’.
Technique: She lies on a table with her head over the edge. You stand up and enter her mouth with your shaft.
Variation: She sits on a sofa and then rolls over so that she is lying down on the cushion with her legs in the air. Her legs should be directed upward along the back of the sofa. Her head should be on or over the edge of the sofa. You kneel down and enter her mouth with your shaft. This can be more comfortable for her than lying on a hard table.
• This position gives you almost total control over the depth and pace as you thrust with your hips. However, she can put her hands on your waist or thighs to prevent you from thrusting too deeply.• You can stroke or play with her breasts and nipples or reach forward to stimulate her clitoris and vagina.• The rush of blood to her head can heighten her sensations if you reach forward and play with her nipples or clit.• If you like feeling dominant, you’ll get a kick out of this position.• If your woman likes being dominated, she’ll love the feeling of helplessness this position creates.• If your woman’s blowjob technique isn’t particularly great, this position can help you get the stimulation you need to climax.
• This is an advanced position and one of the hardest for a woman to do. If it’s her first time, she’ll feel disorientated being upside down and may not be able to concentrate on giving you a great blowjob.• She will have little control over the depth and pace, so you must be careful not to make her gag – unless she wants you to!
The Best Oral Sex Positions For Both of You
Most couples prefer to take turns giving and receiving oral sex. That’s fine, but sometimes you both want to get into the mood simultaneously.
Here are the five best oral sex positions that you’ll love as much as she does.
#1. The Sixty Nine
Also known as: The ‘Over and Under’ or the ’69’.
Technique: Lie down on the bed and let your woman straddle your face. She can control the intensity of the oral stimulation on her clitoris by either lifting up or pressing her pelvis down onto your mouth. This position also makes fellatio easy and will give her easy access to your testicles and perineum.
(check out our article we wrote exclusively on the 69 position here)
• The Sixty Nine is perhaps the overall best oral sex position as it offers simultaneous oral pleasure. There’s really nothing else like it.• It’s easy to do and almost impossible to screw up!• It’s extremely comfortable for both partners.• Most people find it difficult to climax in this position. This makes it great for leisurely foreplay prior to intercourse when you want to pace yourself.
• The sensation of simultaneously giving and receiving pleasure can be overwhelming for some people.• As mentioned above, few people can actually reach orgasm in this position. If you want to help your woman orgasm once, or multiple times, during foreplay, this isn’t the position for you.
#2. The Inverted Sixty Nine
Also known as: The ‘Reverse 69’, the ‘Reverse Plumber’.
Technique: She lies on the bed and you straddle her face. She gives you a blowjob while you go down on her.
• As with the ‘Sixty Nine’ position, this position is extremely easy and lets you both simultaneously pleasure each other.• Unlike the ‘Sixty Nine’, you have more control over the fellatio you receive. You can raise or lower your hips to adjust the depth of your thrusts.• Most men find it easier to stimulate their partner’s clitoris with their heads facing downwards, rather than with their heads facing upward, as in the standard ‘Sixty Nine’ position.
• Your woman may struggle to find the perfect angle in this position. Try positioning a cushion or pillow under her head.• As with the ‘Sixty Nine’, few people can actually orgasm in this position. This is great if you want to delay ejaculation but not so great if you want to help your woman climax before intercourse.
#3. The Sideways Sixty Nine
Also known as: The ‘Lying Mantis’.
Technique: You can easily move into this position from either the ‘Sixty Nine’ or the ‘Inverted Sixty Nine’ positions described above. Simply roll over together onto one side (right or left, it doesn’t matter). She keeps her legs parted as you go down on her and she gives you a blowjob.
• Some couples find this position more relaxing than the ‘Sixty Nine’ position.• You’ll enjoy having your upper hand free to explore her body.• As a man, it’s easier for you to thrust into your woman’s mouth from this position.• It’s easier to take turns in this position. This makes it easier for one or both of you to orgasm.
• This position gives less clitoral access than the ‘Sixty Nine’ or the ‘Inverted Sixty Nine’ positions.• You may find that your lower-most arm becomes uncomfortable after lying on it for a while. You can always change to another side or move to a different position.
#4. The Crouching Tiger
Also known as: The ‘Zombie’.
Technique: You sit while she straddles your thighs. She bends over to give you access to her clitoris and vagina. She bends forward to touch the floor and gives you a blowjob facing downwards.
• This is a very comfortable position in which to give cunnilingus and gives you easy access to her clitoris and vagina.• As blood rushes to her head, the stimulation you provide with your tongue and mouth will be hugely pleasurable for her.
• If your woman hasn’t tried this before, she may be disorientated by the blood rushing to her head.• If your woman is much taller than you, you may strain your neck reaching upwards, or she may find it uncomfortable bending down so low.
#5. The Inverted Elevator
Also known as: The ‘Standing 69’ or ‘Pisces’.
Technique: This is an advanced technique and is only really possible if either you are very strong, or your woman is very petite. It’s essentially the ‘Sixty Nine’ position with you standing. The most direct way to move into this position is to pick your woman up around her waist and twist her round. Alternatively, have her stand on a chair, sofa or bed while you face her. You grab her around her waist as she rotates into a downwards facing position. By wrapping your arms around her middle, you should be able to comfortably support her. She gives you a blowjob in this inverted position while you go down on her.
• If you like to be the dominant one, this position is a novel way of expressing your strength.• She’ll get a rush of blood to the head which can be a turn on. If you’re skillful enough to bring her to orgasm, this head rush will greatly enhance her pleasure.
• Not everyone is strong enough to try this! Be careful not to cause yourself a back injury. If in doubt, try the ‘Crouching Tiger’ position. It’s essentially an easier, safer version of the same position.• If your woman hasn’t tried this before, she may find the blood rushing to her head disorientating.• There is a danger of dropping your woman while attempting this position. Standing in front of a bed or sofa is a sensible precaution.
The Best Sex Positions for Her
If you want to ensure that your woman has an orgasm during sex, you’ll find it far easier if you go down on her first.
There are no shortcuts to success, so be sure to read our list of the best oral sex positions first!
The more you know about how your woman likes to masturbate or receive oral sex, the easier it will be for you to choose the best sex position.
The following sex positions offer most women the best chance of achieving one, or multiple, orgasms. Here is our list of the best sex positions for women.
#1. The Cowgirl
Also known as: The ‘Woman On Top’.
Technique: The Cowgirl is one of the best sex positions for the majority of women as it’s simple to move into and easy to get right. If she loves the ‘Face Sitter’ oral sex position described above, then moving into the Cowgirl is an absolute breeze. Simply lie down and maneuver her into position. After you enter her, she has almost complete control over the depth and speed of the thrusts.
Variations: To add a little variety to this position, she can remain in a static position and let you do the thrusting.
• Women love this position as they can take charge of the pace and depth of penetration.• The Cowgirl offers the intimacy of face-to-face intercourse, something that is extremely important for most women.• This position makes it easy to alternate between shallow and deep thrusts. Shallow thrusts will stimulate the most sensitive frontal part of her vagina.• The rocking motion of the Cowgirl lets her rub her clitoral area and vulva against your pubic bone for intense pleasure.• Great for G-spot stimulation and amazing for orgasms.
• This is an amazing position for most women but won’t always leave you feeling satisfied.• You have less control over the depth and pace of the penetration in this position.
#2. The Reverse Cowgirl
Also known as: The Asian Cowgirl, the ‘Rodeo Drive’, or ‘Half Way Around the World’.
Technique: Lie on your back and have your woman straddle your hips while facing your feet. She can kneel down and start riding you.
• She can lean back or forward to change the angle of your shaft thrusting into her for greater stimulation.• This is a great position for G-spot stimulation.• She has complete control over the depth and pace of the penetration.• She can easily reach down to stimulate herself or guide your shaft into the best position.
• If she’s less athletically inclined, this position can take its toll.• Most women prefer face-to-face positions that offer greater intimacy.
#3. The C.A.T.
Also known as: The ‘Coital Alignment Technique’, or the ‘Cat’.
Technique: C.A.T. stands for ‘Coital Alignment Technique’ and guarantees some of the strongest clitoral stimulation of any sexual position! It looks like the missionary position except instead of being chest-to-chest, your chest should be farther up and to one side, over either her right or left shoulder. She bends one of her legs by 45 degrees and this pushes the base of your shaft into near constant contact with her clitoris.
• We’re certain that you didn’t start reading this guide for a boring description of the missionary position but the C.A.T. is one of the best positions to help any woman achieve an orgasm! A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 73 percent of women can orgasm with this technique.• This position offers the face-to-face contact that most women crave.• The C.A.T. is fairly easy to perform and has a great success rate.
• Sometimes thrusting up and down won’t be enough for her to orgasm. You may find that rocking back and forth gives her more stimulation.
#4. The Horny Mantis
Also known as: ‘Gift Wrapped’.
Technique: You both lie on your sides facing each other. She spreads her legs and you enter her while she wraps her legs around you. Your legs should be between hers for a relaxing position.
• This position offers very deep penetration.• It is an extremely relaxing and intimate position.• She can adjust the depth of your thrusts by pulling you closer using her legs and feet.
• As this position calls for you to lie on your partner’s right or left thigh, this can cause her discomfort if you are heavier. To address this, put some of your weight onto your lower-most elbow.
#5. Spoon, Facing
Also known as: The ‘Sidewinder’.
Technique: Both of you lie on your sides facing each other. She raises one of her legs to let you enter and then closes her legs. This presses the base of your shaft against her clitoris. You can thrust into her while kissing, hugging and caressing her.
Variations: Besides thrusting, you can use up and down motions, or grinding and circular movements for added stimulation.
• This intimate face-to-facing position is great for kissing, hugging and caressing each other.• Hugging increases levels of oxytocin, a naturally-produced bonding hormone that enhances the connection between you and your woman.• Spooning keeps your weight off both of your bodies. This is ideal if you have a knee injury or if she is pregnant.
• Thrusting is difficult in this position so you have to use circular or grinding motions.• If you need deeper penetration to achieve orgasm, this position may leave you feeling unsatisfied.
#6. The Pushup
Also known as: The ‘Mountain Climber’.
Technique: She lies on her back and raises her legs. You maneuver between her legs and assume the standard push-up position. While this is more challenging for you, it does give you greater depth and range of motion than the standard missionary position and is great for stimulating her G-spot.
Variations: Place a pillow or cushion under her hips to tilt her pelvis upwards. This makes it very easy to hit her G-spot. If you are strong, you can support your weight on one hand and use your free hand to gently push the hood of skin over her clitoris upwards. This helps expose the clitoris and give it maximum stimulation during intercourse.
• This position offers great eye contact and skin-on-skin contact.• From her perspective, your weight is off her body. This lets her relax and focus on climaxing.• You can thrust with your pelvis and shoulders at the same time, giving you a greater range of thrusting depths and speeds than the standard missionary position.• She gets a great view of you entering her, which is a real turn-on for most women.
• If you want to show off your strength and rock-hard abs, this position is great. If you aren’t particularly fit, you will find this position very tiring. You may not last long enough to leave her satisfied.• In this position, neither of your hands will be free so you can’t add any manual stimulation. If you want to grab your shaft and stroke her outside, this will put your weight onto one hand – quite a feat of strength for most guys!
#7. The ‘Elephant’
Also known as: The ‘Carousel’.
Technique: She stands on the bed and you kneel in front of her. With her feet either side of your thighs, she places her hands on your shoulders and gently lowers herself down onto you.
After your shaft enters her, she can wrap her legs around yours and support herself with her hands around your neck. You support her by wrapping your arms around her lower back.
Variation: In the standard ‘Elephant’ position, she wraps her legs around yours so you cannot sit back on your heels. One variation is to have her wrap her legs around your buttocks or lower back. This gives you a greater range of motion and lets you thrust more forcibly into her.
• This face-to-face position will satisfy your woman’s cravings for eye contact and affection.• The ‘Elephant’ will give her amazing A-spot (anterior fornix) stimulation as your shaft will hit the front wall of her vagina, just in front of the neck of her womb.• You’ll enjoy deep penetration and she’ll love the intense P-spot (posterior fornix) stimulation as your shaft hits the lower arch of the neck of her womb, also known and the ‘deep spot’.• Besides kissing her lips and neck, you can also fondle and kiss her breasts, and fondle her buttocks easily while in this position.
• As her legs will be wrapped around yours, you have to be careful about leaning back and trapping her legs during the throes of ecstasy. As we mentioned above, one variation is to have her wrap her legs behind your buttocks or lower back to avoid this.• This is a physically demanding position that calls for core body strength. If your stamina isn’t great, you may become tired long before she is satisfied!
#8. The ‘Disco’
Also known as: The ‘Dance of Love’.
Technique: She stands upright with her feet shoulder-width apart. You stand facing her with your feet together. Slightly bend your knees until they are between her legs. Place your hands on her hips or outer thighs and look directly into her eyes. As you enter her with your shaft, pull her closer to you.
Variation: If you are much taller than your woman, try leaning back against a wall to compensate for the height difference. Keep your upper back in contact with the wall while you thrust with your hips.
• If you haven’t tried having sex standing up before, you’re in for a real treat! This face-to-face, standing position is simply amazing for clitoral stimulation given the way that the base of your shaft is placed in constant contact with her body.• This position is a medium-level of difficulty and allows both of you to be equally active.• The ‘Disco’ position is incredible for heightening levels of romance. You can gaze into each other’s eyes, kiss, hug, cuddle and caress each other.• This position is one of the best ways to give her strong clitoral stimulation without expending too much energy.
• In the ‘Disco’ position, only shallow penetration is possible. This will feel amazing for her but may leave you feeling unsatisfied if you like deep thrusting.• If one or both of you are overweight, or if you’re not particularly well endowed, the mechanics of this position may mean that the penetration is very shallow.• If there is a big height difference, this position will be challenging. Try leaning back against a wall to compensate for this. See ‘Variation’ above.
#9. The ‘Amazon’
Technique: Lie on your back and pull your knees up to your chest. She stands over you with her feet either side of your legs. She crouches down and mounts your shaft. As you start to have sex, she kneels down and pushes her feet back and together. You grab her thighs while she supports her weight on your chest.
• This face-to-face, woman-on-top position is similar to the cowgirl but your raised legs mean that she’ll get excellent G-spot and A-spot stimulation.• The ‘Amazon’ offers deep penetration while putting her in charge of the depth and pace of the action.• She’ll be the active partner meaning that you can just enjoy the pleasure!• This position lets you easily stimulate her breasts, clitoris, and vulva, increasing her enjoyment.
• You’ll need good flexibility and strength to hold your knees in this position for any length of time. She can help by placing her hands on your shins instead of on your torso.• You can find yourself rolling forward as she rides you. To avoid this, try placing a small cushion or pillow under your lower back.• Due to the position of your woman’s vagina as she rides you, your shaft will be angled further away from you than normal. This can make it more difficult to climax. Arguably, this is an advantage if you suffer from premature ejaculation.
#10. The ‘Criss-Cross’
Also known as: The ‘Ecstasy’.
Technique: Lie on your back and slightly bend your knees without raising your feet. She stands perpendicular to you (facing to your right or left side) and slowly lowers herself onto your shaft. As you start to have sex, she leans back and supports her weight on her arms. As she moves her legs forward you can help support her with one hand placed under her back. Your free hand can caress her thighs, crotch or breasts.
Variations: The ‘Criss-Cross’ calls for her to lean back sexily. However, she can stay upright and support her weight by placing her hands on your torso and legs.
• This position offers incredible A-spot and G-spot stimulation for her.• You benefit from deep penetration, while your woman remains active.• Your hands remain free to fondle her breasts or stimulate her clitoris during sex.
• She’ll be supporting her upper-body on her outstretched arms. This may wear her out before she feels fully satisfied. Try moving to another position such as the ‘Cowgirl’ that doesn’t have this disadvantage.• The ‘Criss-Cross’ offers deeper penetration than spooning but it isn’t as relaxing.
#11. The ‘Italian Chandelier
Also known as: The ‘Mounted Reverse Cowgirl’.
Technique: You lie on your back with your legs spread. She stands over you with her feet either side of your thighs, facing away from you. She slowly lowers herself down and guides herself onto your shaft until you are fully inside her. From this ‘Reverse Cowgirl’ position, she can relax backward and support her weight on her hands either side of you. Lastly, she places her feet on your thighs and starts riding you.Variations: There are a few ways to switch this position up. Her hands can either be on the bed or on your chest – some women prefer the latter as it gives them more stability and control. She can also alternate between having her feet on your thighs or on the bed to either side of your legs.
• This woman-on-top position is a great way to give your woman A-spot and G-spot stimulation.• She’ll love being in control of the depth and pace of the action.• You can fondle her breasts and easily stimulate her clitoris in this position. If you’re keen on helping your woman climax during intercourse, this position is for you!
• If your woman is quite petite, she may struggle to place her hands firmly on the bed. To address this, she can place her hands on your upper chest as outlined above. See ‘Variations’.
#12. The ‘Spread Eagle’
Technique: Most couples move into the ‘Spread Eagle’ position from the regular ‘Missionary’ position. She lies on her back with her legs spread while you kneel down and enter her. Help her to bring her legs upwards so that they are pointed up in the air. You’ll be on all fours and thrusting deeply into her.
Variations: Not all women will have the strength and flexibility to hold their legs in this position. You can assist her by placing your arms under her legs, instead of on top. This will raise her hips to a more comfortable height and also make the position more comfortable for her.
• She’ll get great clitoral stimulation as well as G-spot and P-spot stimulation from this position.• The ‘Spread Eagle’ will give the face-to-face eye contact and intimacy that she craves as well as bring her breasts into contact with your chest.• This position offers great penetration and deep thrusting action for you.
• She may lack the strength to keep her legs pointing upwards for any length of time. As we explained above, you can help her by letting her rest her legs on your arms. This will make the position more challenging for you, though!• Although this a medium difficulty position, it can be very demanding on you. If you aren’t getting the stimulation you need, try placing a pillow or cushion under her buttocks. This will raise her hips upwards into a more comfortable angle.
#13. The ‘Torch’
Also known as: The ‘Seated Elephant’.
Technique: You can begin in the ‘Spread Eagle’ position (see above) and move your woman’s legs directly in front of you before lifting her up. If this is too challenging, start by simply kneeling down on the bed. She faces you and lowers herself down onto your shaft. Use one hand to support her lower back while she holds onto your shoulders. Help her raise one leg and then the other. To maintain this position, you should firmly hug her around her lower back and she should grab your upper arms.
• This intimate, facing position forces both of you to be very active but results in very deep and intense penetration.• She’ll love the strong G-spot and P-spot stimulation in this position.• The ‘Torch’ offers very deep thrusting action and is more comfortable for you than other horizontal positions.• If your woman is very petite, this is a great position for expressing your strength and dominance.
• This position requires both of you to be quite strong and, as such, is a very difficult position to master. You may both feel tired before either of you are fully satisfied!• In this position, you are supporting your woman’s full weight. If she is very heavy, this may cause you significant discomfort after a while. If you experience cramping in your legs, move to a similar position such as the ‘Spread Eagle’.
#14. The ‘Case’
Also known as: The ‘Sitting Cowgirl’.
Technique: You lie on your back with your knees spread and your feet touching to form a ‘petal’ shape. She stands between your knees and crouches down to enter you. Your penis enters her and you start to have sex. She can support herself by placing her hands on your thighs. You can place your hands on her hips to give her extra support.
Variation: If she’s particularly sensitive down one side of her vagina, she can rotate herself 45 degrees to one side. One of her feet will be between your legs, and her other foot will be outside your legs. This rotated position can help her get the stimulation she needs to climax.
• This position offers comfortable rear-entry with deep penetration.• She’ll love the G-spot and P-spot stimulation that this position offers.• You can alternate between thrusting and circular movements with ease.
• She may lack the flexibility and balance to squat down this far, particularly on a bouncy bed. You can try placing a pillow under your butt. This will raise your pelvis up so that she doesn’t have to squat down so far.
#15. The ‘Bow’
Technique: She lies on her back and you kneel down, straddling one of her legs. Bring her free leg up and over to the opposite side of her body. Hold her raised leg with one hand and place your other hand on her buttocks or hips to steady yourself. From this position, thrust into her with your shaft and start to have sex.
• She’ll love the strong G-spot and A-spot stimulation that this position offers.• You’ll love the deep penetration and the ability to control the pace and depth of your thrusts.• This is an easy position that you can both enjoy.• You can easily fondle her buttocks and breasts or even introduce anal play while in this position.
• Her vagina will be at quite a low angle which can make thrusting difficult. Try placing a pillow or cushion under her hips.
#16. The ‘Captain’
Also known as: The ‘Sitting V’.
Technique: This position is similar to the ‘Spread Eagle’ except that you are kneeling close to her buttocks and seated on your heels. She lies on her back and raises her legs until they are perpendicular to the bed. You hold her raised legs and spread them wide apart before thrusting deeply into her vagina.
Variation: If your woman is particularly strong, she may be able to hold her legs in this position unaided. This frees up your hands to add clitoral stimulation or fondle her breasts.
• The view of your shaft thrusting into her from this position is hugely erotic.• She’ll love the A-spot and G-spot stimulation that your shaft provides in this position.• The ‘Captain’ is an easy position to master, yet offers deep penetration and plenty of stimulation for both partners.
• While deep penetration is possible, some guys find it hard to thrust from this kneeling position. Try placing a pillow under your woman’s buttocks to raise her hips. This will make thrusting much easier for you.
The Sex Best Positions for You
While women tend to favor intimate face-to-face positions that give them control, most men tend to prefer positions that offer the deepest possible penetration and give them the most control over the depth and pace of their thrusts.
Most guys also appreciate positions that aren’t too physically demanding, enabling them to enjoy the experience without losing their puff.If this sounds like you, read on! We’ve curated a list of the six best sex positions for men that every guy should try.
Also known as: Man’s Best Friend
Technique: She kneels on her hands and knees while you kneel between her legs and enter her from behind. You can hold her hips while you thrust into her.
Variations: Instead of kneeling, stand with your feet outside of her knees and crouch down to enter her. This takes a fair amount of knee and hip strength but you can steady yourself by holding her hips or reaching down and putting your hands on the bed.
(for more sex positions with the man going from behind, check out our article specifically on that here).
• Doggy style offers a mind-blowingly erotic view and the penetration is as deep as it gets. You can’t beat it.• This position gives you complete control and helps you make the most of your package, no matter what its size. You can tease her with shallow dips or go all-in.• Unlike lying positions such as missionary where you feel like you’re doing press-ups, doggy-style is simple, easy and natural, letting you focus on the pleasure without losing steam.• If she pushes her pelvic floor muscles outwards, her vaginal walls will lower, making her G-spot much more accessible.• You can reach around and manually stimulate her, or she can reach down and take matters into her own hands.
• Some women find this position demeaning or degrading and find this position a huge turn off. Other women love it.• Depending on the size of your shaft, you may be able to thrust so deeply that the tip of your penis reaches her cervix. Be sure to go slowly and gently as some women find this painful while others love the experience of having this oft-neglected erogenous zone stimulated.• Some women find this position painful on their knees, even on a bed.• Rear entry can cause lower-back pain for some women.
#2. The Iron Chef
Also known as: The ‘Kitchen Confidential’.
Technique: Known as the ‘Iron Chef’ due to the fact that kitchen countertops are the perfect height for most guys, this position can be done on any sturdy table. She sits and raises her legs up allowing you to enter her. She can wrap her legs around your butt or thighs to pull your shaft deeper inside her during intercourse.
• This position gives you great control over the depth and pace of your thrusting.• This is far less tiring than the missionary position as you aren’t supporting your weight on your hands and knees. This lets you keep going for longer and enjoy the sensations more.• This is a fantastic position for deep penetration.• Entering her while she’s in a sitting position puts pressure on your shaft and feels awesome. It can also make her vagina feel tighter, helping you to climax very quickly.• Great position for a quickie anytime, anywhere!• This facing position is perfect for kissing, hugging and fondling each other.
• Watch out for any sharp edges or corners on your countertop.• Be aware of your surroundings, stay away from potentially dangerous appliances!
#3: The Pretzel Dip
Also known as: The ‘Camel Ride’, or the ‘Pretzel’.
Technique: She lies on her left-hand side, you straddle her and lift her right leg. She bends her leg around the left side of your waist. This gives you amazing access to her vagina while allowing her to remain in a comfortable position.
Variations: This position can be on either the right or left side.
• If you want the deep penetration of doggy-style but your woman isn’t into it, this position is for you! The ‘Pretzel Dip’ gives you the deepest possible penetration of any face-to-face position.• It is far more comfortable for the woman than doggy-style. She gets to relax while enjoying the deep penetration.• You can manually stimulate her with your fingers, or she can take over.• This position makes the clitoris extremely open and accessible. You can alternate between thrusting into her and withdrawing to rub the head of your penis against her clit.• This position is much easier on your knees than missionary as your weight is over your heels, instead of directly on your knees. This lengthens lovemaking and makes your experience far more relaxing.
• If she isn’t very flexible, she may struggle to raise her leg around your waist. This may restrict your range of movement or put pressure on your thigh. To avoid this, hold her thigh up with your forearm.
#4: The Bicycle
Also known as: The ‘Stand and Deliver’.
Technique: She lies back on the edge of the bed or a table. Grab her ankles and raise her legs to her chest as if she’s doing ‘bicycle kicks’. This gives you great access to her vagina and lets you thrust as deeply as you want.
• As your weight is only your feet, this is a really easy move to master, just like the ‘Iron Chef’.• You can place her feet on your shoulders to open up her hips. This causes her labia to press strongly against your shaft.• The ‘Bicycle’ position lets you play with her clitoris manually, greatly increasing her pleasure.• You get to enjoy the vista of your penis thrusting into her. It’s much more comfortable to look down from a standing position than from a horizontal position such as the missionary position.• She can control the depth and pace of your thrusts using her thighs.• This position gives you doggy-style-like levels of penetration while also giving her face-to-face intimacy and some control over the action. It’s the best of both worlds.
• Some women may lack the flexibility to push their legs up this far. Being overweight might also make this position a no-go for some couples.• Deep penetration can be painful for some women, so go slow as you enter her. Hitting the cervix can be a real passion-killer for most women. Others love it.
#5. The Stairway to Heaven
Also known as: The ‘Step Lively’.
Technique: You sit on one of the stairs of any staircase. She uses the handrail for support and lowers herself down on top of you.
• This position gives you the deep penetration and erotic view of doggy style but lets her stay in control.• Handrails and/or banisters are great for both of you to use for support. Much better than a springy bed!• This is a superb position for quickies, especially if you can’t wait until you reach the bedroom!• Excellent G-spot stimulation for her.• Super-easy for you!
• This is great on carpeted stairs at home but concrete stairs in – say – a building’s stairwell could hurt your lower back. Stay safe!• There’s always the chance that one of you could slip while in this position. Therefore, it’s best to sit near the bottom of a flight of stairs rather than near the top, if you know what we’re saying!
#6. The Head Rush
Also known as: The ‘Waterfall’.
Technique: Lie on your back near the edge of a bed or sofa. Slowly slide backward until your head and shoulders are resting on the floor. You can use a pillow or cushion behind your head for extra comfort. She straddles you and gets busy.
Variations: She can either kneel on the edge of the bed ‘Cowgirl’-style or put her legs forward (shown in the illustration). Another option is for her to stand on the floor and sit back onto your erect penis.
• Blood rushing to your head will result in a mind-blowing orgasm.• You get a great view of the action while she does most of the work.• This is a face-to-face position with very deep penetration, making both of you incredibly happy.• She gets to be in control of the depth and pace of the action.
• Be careful as you position yourself – you could injure your neck. If you have a recent or pre-existing neck or shoulder condition, we don’t recommend you try this.• There is a slim chance of her losing her balance and falling towards you. Take things slowly.
#7. The ‘Cowboy’
Also known as: The ‘Downward Doggie’.
Technique: She kneels down and rests her weight on her knees and elbows. You stand with your feet either side of her knees and crouch down to enter her from behind. Keep your arms straight down and crouch forward until you are touching the bed. The spring in the mattress will help you thrust deeply into your woman.
Variations: If your woman is very flexible, she can arch her back and push herself up to kiss you. Alternatively, she can lower her torso and rest her head on the bed in a submissive position.
• This position lets you thrust very deeply into your woman and make the most out of your package.• Some guys find thrusting downwards is more comfortable than the forward-thrusting motion of ‘Doggie style’.• This position gives you an erotic view of your shaft thrusting in and out of your woman.• Hitting your woman’s G-Spot is very easy in this position.
• This can be quite a tough position to attempt and requires hip and knee strength on your part.• As with ‘Doggie Style’, this position may cause your woman to experience lower back pain.• You can easily thrust too deeply and aggressively in this position, hitting your woman’s cervix with the tip of your shaft. Go slow and take things steady!
#8. The ‘Turtle’
Also known as: The ‘Collapsed Doggy’.
Technique: She kneels down with her butt resting on her heels and her knees touching her breasts. She lowers her head down and stretches her arms out to the front or out to the sides. You kneel behind her and rock forward onto your hands, placed either side of her thighs. You enter your woman and thrust into her with a rocking motion.
Variations: After entering her with your shaft, you can rock back onto your heels to vary the angle and pace of your thrusts.
• This position puts you in total control and you’ll find this a huge turn-on. Your woman really can’t take an active part in this position.• The ‘Turtle’ offers the deep penetration of rear-entry without the strain on your knees.• If your woman finds ‘Doggie Style’ painful for her back, the ‘Turtle’ can be a good compromise and shouldn’t cause her discomfort.
• Although the ‘Turtle’ position is a gentler, easier version of ‘Doggie Style’, thrusting can be more difficult in this position. You may not get the stimulation you need.• If your woman is overweight or lacks flexibility, this position may be challenging for her.
#9. The ‘Screwdriver’
Also known as: The ‘Twisted Doggie’.
Technique: She gets down on all fours with her knees spread apart but her feet touching. You kneel with one leg between her knees and your other leg over your woman’s buttocks. Place one hand on her hips and one hand on her back. Encourage her to stretch out forwards until her breasts are touching the floor. As you enter her, keep your hands in contact with her body to assist with your thrusts.Variation: This position works well on either the right or left side. If your woman is especially sensitive down one side of her vagina or clitoris, she may prefer one side over the other.
• This position gives great A-spot stimulation.• It’s also great for G-spot stimulation.• Thrusting downwards can be more comfortable than thrusting forwards and you can use your hands to help direct and guide your woman’s body into the perfect position.• You can easily introduce anal play while enjoying deep penetration.
• This position is difficult and requires a fair amount of practice. But you’ll still enjoy it, we promise!• The ‘Screwdriver’ works great if you and your woman are roughly the same height or if she is petite. If she is much taller than you, it may not be possible to get your leg over her back. In this case, try kneeling on a pillow to get the extra height.
#10. The ‘Concubine’
Also known as: The ‘Wheelbarrow’.
Technique: The best way to maneuver into this position is for you to sit down on your heels with your knees spread apart. She stands in front of you, facing away, with her feet either side of your knees. She slowly lowers herself onto your erect shaft. Once you are inside her, she can lower herself down until she is lying on her belly. She wraps her legs around your buttocks while you hold her hips and thrust deeply into her.
Variations: She can either rest her weight on her elbows or on her chest with her arms reaching out in front.
• The ‘Concubine’ offers deep, rear-entry action where you get to control the depth and pace of the penetration.• The feeling of your woman’s legs wrapped around your buttocks can be very erotic.• You get an erotic view of her buttocks and the chance to introduce anal play.• G-spot and P-spot stimulation are very intense in this position.
• This is a difficult position to master. It takes significant upper body strength as all of the action has to come from you.• If your woman is of a heavier disposition, the ‘Concubine’ will place a lot of weight on your thighs and this may cause you discomfort after a while.
#11. The Clapper
Also known as: The ‘Laid Back Doggie’.
Technique: She kneels down on all fours with her head forward and her hands stretched out in front. You sit under her buttocks and between her legs. You shouldn’t be sitting on her legs, just in between them. Stretch your legs forward and to either side, then recline until you are supporting your weight with your hands. Use the strength in your arms and legs to thrust upwards and into your woman with your shaft.
Variation: Your knees can be either bent or straight in this position.
• You can be very active in this position. This is great if you like to take control!• This position offers excellent P-spot stimulation for her.• You get a great range of motion in this position and can easily alternate between thrusting and circular movements.
• Although this position is only a medium-level of complexity, it does require you to support your weight on your hands. You may get tired before either of you are fully satisfied.• If you want to introduce anal play or fondle your woman’s buttocks, you’ll need to place all your weight on one hand. Not all of us are strong enough to do this!
#12. The ‘Brute’
Also known as: The ‘Reverse Doggie’.
Technique: She lies on her back and rolls backwards until her legs are over her head. By supporting her weight on her outstretched arms, she should be able to spread her legs wide above her head. You stand facing away from her with your feet either side of her arms. Squat down onto her buttocks and reach down to support her thighs with your hands. Enter her with your shaft and start thrusting deeply into her.
Variation: Instead of reaching back with your hands and holding your woman’s thighs, you can lower yourself forward and support your woman’s lower back instead.
• This is a standing, rear-entry position that offers her excellent P-spot stimulation.• You get an unusual and highly erotic view of your woman’s buttocks and can easily introduce fondling or anal play.• This position is hard to master but isn’t too demanding on your hips or knees as your woman’s body will support some of your weight.
• This is an advanced position and will put some strain on your woman’s neck. Take things slow and avoid thrusting down too hard.• You can’t put all of your weight on your woman; you need to support yourself on bent legs.
#13. The ‘Prison Guard’
Also known as: The ‘Under arrest’.
Technique: Stand behind your woman with your legs shoulder-width apart. Firmly clasp both of her wrists with one of your hands and then use your free hand to push her forwards. With her head bent down and facing the floor, enter her from behind and start to have sex. Grab her wrists as shown in the illustration and use this leverage to control the depth and pace of your thrusts.
Variations: To extend the bondage theme, you can use a pair of handcuffs to add to the realism.
• The ‘Prison Guard’ is a very simple move to master and lets you penetrate your woman very deeply.• She’ll love the G-spot and P-spot stimulation in this position.• This is a great position if you like to be dominant and/or she likes to be submissive.• Introducing role play and bondage is easy with the ‘Prison Guard’.
• If your woman doesn’t like being dominated, she won’t appreciate this position much.• Too much of a height difference (if she is either very tall or very petite) will make this position challenging.
#14. The ‘Doorway’
Also known as: ‘V for Victory’.
Technique: She stands with her back against the inside of a doorway with her knees slightly bent and her legs spread apart. Stand to face your woman and lean back until your upper back touches the doorway. She throws one of her legs over your shoulder and you place your hand on her hips. Thrust upwards until your shaft enters your woman and start to have sex.
Variations: This position can be done on either side.
• As you are both leaning back into the doorway, this position offers deep penetration without much effort or strain.• The ‘Doorway’ offers amazing clitoral stimulation for her while offering you good control of the depth and pace of your thrusts.• You get an amazing variety of petting opportunities. You can fondle her breasts, introduce anal play and caress her buttocks.
• Depending on your height, you may find a doorway too wide to gain enough leverage.• Not every woman will be flexible enough to throw their legs up into this position.
#15. The ‘Spiderman’
Also known as: The ‘Lying Lift’.
Technique: She lies on her side and supports her head in one of her hands. You kneel over her and raise her uppermost leg over your shoulder. As her lower leg is bent at the knee, her legs will be spread wide apart. You can thrust deeply into her while fondling her buttocks, stomach, crotch, and breasts with your free hands.
Variation: This position works well on either side.
• This position is extremely comfortable for both of you, yet provides very deep penetration.• She’ll love the A-spot and G-spot stimulation from this position.• The ‘Spiderman’ lets you keep both of your hands free to explore her body. You can caress her breasts, stomach, groin, and buttocks or provide anal play and clitoral stimulation. If you have a foot fetish and want to suck her toes, go for it!
• If you lack flexibility, this position may be too low for you to thrust in. Try placing a pillow or cushion under your lady to lift her hips upward and into a more comfortable position.
Technique: There are several ways to initiate this position. From a standing position, move behind your woman and enter her from behind. Wrap your arms around her waist and encourage her to lean forward. She wraps her legs around your back and supports herself by placing her hands on your thighs.
Alternatively, you can sit on the edge of a bed and have her lower herself down onto your shaft. While inside her, stand up and support her weight as she moves into position.
Variations: Instead of holding her hips, try locking arms together behind her back. This will give you a better sense of being connected as you are intertwined and this will let you thrust even deeper.Another slight variation is having her reach her hands forward as if flying through the air!
• If you can pull this one off, you’ll certainly feel like superman!• If your woman stretches out her arms in this position, she’ll be the one who looks as though she’s flying, hence the alternate name: ‘Wonder Woman’. It’s a novel position for both you and her.• Similar to ‘Doggie Style’, this position offers deep penetration and a hugely erotic view of your woman’s buttocks.• If your woman is very petite, or you just want to show off your strength, this position is a must-try!
• Overall, this is one of the most difficult positions on our list. It takes immense strength and is best attempted if your woman is very petite.• Your woman may lack the strength to hold herself in this position for very long. This puts extra strain on you and can make the position very short lived.• The ‘Superman’ is so demanding that you’ll be unlikely to climax in this position. Arguably, this could be a benefit if you suffer from premature ejaculation.
The 23 ways to initiate sex
The 23 ways to initiate sex without feeling awkward! Tracey Cox calls on women to take the lead as she reveals why it’s the single most effective way to improve your relationship
Tracey Cox discusses how women can take the lead more often in the bedroom
Sex expert said women should make very obvious moves with their partners
Also advised them not to wait for the ‘perfect sex conditions’ to initiate the act
By TRACEY COX FOR MAIL ONLINE
5 February 2020
Even in these liberal times, men still initiate sex twice as much as women.
A recent survey of 4,000 US adults found 22 per cent of heterosexual women said they rarely or never initiate sex, compared to just 13 percent of heterosexual men.
Not initiating has stayed in the top three things men tell me they dislike about their partner – for three decades.
If you don’t do it, being the one to suggest having sex is the single, most effective way to improve your sex life and relationship.
Research shows the more frequently either partner initiates, the more pleased they tend to be with each other.
Being seduced sends a strong, healthy message to your partner: I want you. I desire you. You’re attractive to me.
So why don’t more women take the lead?
One reason is they feel self-conscious and don’t really know how.
Here’s a simple plan, with clear and practical solutions, to get you into the role of being a sexual instigator, so you can reap the many benefits.
Tell your partner what you’re up to
If you’re constantly being hassled for sex, you don’t get the chance to miss it.
It’s called ‘the seesaw phenomenon’: the more one person does, the less the other does.
The more often they initiate sex, the less often you will.
Here’s the thing though: just by telling your partner you miss not being the one to initiate sex, this alone – and I guarantee it – will have an extraordinary reaction.
Most people think their partner doesn’t initiate sex because they secretly don’t enjoy doing it with them.
Simply saying you’d like to be given the chance to, will score enormous points.
Make a pact: they stop making any sexual overtures for around two weeks to a month to give you the chance to approach them. (Choose the length depending on how often you have sex.)
Don’t wait for perfect sex conditions
You sort of wouldn’t mind if you had sex?
Don’t just ponder the thought, pounce on it – and do it as soon as you can!
Studies show the more time that passes between having an idea and following up on it, the more likely you are to lose motivation.
Don’t let things like dishes or shopping online or ‘I’ll just answer that email first’ get in the way.
And don’t feel bad about faking desire now and then.
It’s childish to expect both of you to always be gagging for sex simultaneously and numerous studies show lots of us warm up once we get going – particularly women.
‘Pretending’ passion creates it.
Power is a massive turn-on and if you’re the one who’s suddenly up for it and making all the moves, you’ll be surprised how turned on you’ll feel.
Make your move – and make it obvious
That seductive look, flashed over your shoulder as you head to the bedroom, might seem like a massive come on to you, but it’s easy to miss.
Be more obvious, direct, assertive: use a move that’s so obvious even the cat knows what’s on the agenda for the evening.
Rolling over and kissing once you’re in bed is OK but it’s not terribly original now, is it now?
You’ll find a list of simple moves to try in the sidebar.
Get into character. Think ‘What would I do if I was in a film and had to seduce someone?’.
Make it even more obvious if they don’t respond
If your partner isn’t used to you initiating, it’s easy for them to miss tentative overtures.
You think ‘Hey, you want to do it?’ is in bright neon above your head, but it can still be misinterpreted.
Which can be disastrous.
You’re left feeling confused (They’re always hassling me! How come they don’t want it now I’m suggesting it?) and confidence plummets (I feel silly suggesting it anyway, so I won’t do it again).
SIMPLE WAYS TO INITIATE SEX
Give them a long, deep kiss instead of your usual cheek kiss.
Wear sexy lingerie to bed.
Slide a hand down to their lower abdomen as you’re spooning.
Come right out and say, ‘Hey, you fancy a quickie?’
Undress in front of your partner, rather than in the bathroom.
Emerge naked after a shower and walk around a bit, rather than put clothes on immediately.
Wait for them to shower, then jump in with them.
Whisper in their ear ‘I want you’ while you’re out and about.
Run a bubble bath, fetch two glasses of champers, then jump right in there.
Sleep naked and put your body against theirs.
Wake him up on the weekend by taking him into your mouth.
Sext what you’d like to do to them later.
Send a photo of a part of your body. It doesn’t have to be your bits. A silhouette of the curve of a thigh or a breast can be even more erotic.
Give them a massage – naked.
Cop a quick feel. Initiating doesn’t have to be deadly serious. The more playful it is, the better.
Take your clothes off in a room other than the bedroom.
Set the mood while they’re in the shower – low lighting, vibrator on the bed, sexy underwear.
Take their clothes off for them.
Flash them while you’re out and about.
Suck their fingers while making eye contact.
Deliver a playful spank or three.
Get naked in the fitting room. Get them to wait outside while you try on clothes and send them photos of you naked while you’re in there.
Play the no panties game. It’s especially effective if you tell him you’re commando in places or situations where he can’t ravish you. Go to the bathroom at that boring party, take them off and discreetly push them into his pocket when you’re back.
If you’re both shy or the sex situation is so tense everything is likely to be misread negatively, have an agreed on code that says ‘Sex tonight?’.
One failsafe method is…
The fridge magnet trick
This is a technique that helps if you both have mismatched libidos.
You need two fridge magnets, easily distinguishable from each other.
Each of you claim a magnet then move it once a day depending on if you do or don’t feel like sex.
If the magnet is close to the top of the fridge, it means you’re extremely interested; if it’s at the bottom, you’d rather be doing your tax return.
There’s a temptation for the high sex person to leave their magnet welded to the top of the fridge permanently and the low-desire person to glue theirs to the bottom but for the purposes of this exercise, get your partner to leave theirs in a neutral position.
They have to wait until – albeit nervously and tentatively – you get to be the first to instigate sex by inching your magnet above theirs, experiencing a hypnotic twinge of sexual power.
Meanwhile, they (finally) get the equally exquisite high of being seduced.
Don’t take knockbacks personally
It’s normal to feel self-conscious and awkward if you’re not used to initiating sex: it takes courage to break out of old habits.
Just remember, your partner is human.
As much as they might be ecstatic that you’re making a move, if they’re stressed, exhausted or preoccupied with something else, they might well say ‘Thanks but not tonight’.
If this happens, resist the urge to throw a hissy fit – sulking or stomping off with a ‘Well, if that’s the response I get, I won’t try again!’.
You’ve probably knocked them back loads of times for your own reasons. Why can’t they have theirs?
Treat them the way you like them to treat you if you decline a sexual overture: politely and with respect and affection.
Getting knocked back and not getting funny about it is all part of initiating sex.
It won’t do you any harm at all to know how it feels their end!
Tracey’s new book Great Sex Starts at 50: How to age-proof your libido (£9.99, Murdoch Books) is available to buy on February 6 from all online retailers and at all good bookshops. It is also available in ebook.
– DEMO pics not related to the story